you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
