It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
