the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
