fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
