just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
