My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
