this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
