So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
