nut hugger
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
