By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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