just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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