now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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