Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
