I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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