Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
