I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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