I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
