Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
