I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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