Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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