I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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