I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
