Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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