Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
