Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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