You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
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