If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
