My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
