which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
