is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
