Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
