it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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