He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
