We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
