rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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