Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
