Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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