there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
is wine microwaveable?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
