i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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