i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I smell stomach acid.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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