On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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