I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
