He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
