hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
