Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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