Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
