Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm like, not good at living.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
