Sry I called you an 8
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
