just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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