Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
