Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
