that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
