I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
