There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
